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Arguments are rarely "won." The last time you won an argument, what did you win? If someone really lost, he at least learned something, right? What did you get from it? Some ego satisfaction, debating practice, and reduced mind power.
Arguing Reduces Mind Power?
There are times when things need to be argued, but most of the time it isn't productive. You don't want to argue the point, do you? What do you win in a useless debate, and more importantly, what do you lose?
A person listening to arguments gets to learn something from both sides, but what about the participants themselves? When your opponent makes a good point, do you say, "Hey, you're right!" or do you more often just look for a better argument?
Too much arguing develops the habit of looking for arguments more than for truth. It also gets you deeper into your thinking ruts the more you defend a position. Getting in a rut and ignoring the truth? If that doesn't sound like it's good for your mind power, it's because it isn't.
Listening Creates Mind Power
If you argue the moon is closer, and I say the sun is, one of us is right. If you argue nurture is more important, and I say nature is, we're both right. The first argument has clearly defined terms, which isn't common - and even here, what's the point of arguing?
In the second example, our arguments deal with values and experiences. We've each seen different things in life, and we could spend hours defining "important," or I could shut up and listen. Then my mind becomes more powerful with the addition of your ideas and knowledge.
To break the bad habit of arguing, ask for peoples opinions, and listen without saying anything. Ask them to clarify, but don't offer even one contrary idea. If you do this enough, you'll be surprised by how much you learn. Some of us habitual debaters are also surprised by how difficult this simple technique can be, but it works.
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(Meditation Has Never Been Easier) Check them out here: The Meditation Program |